Recently at The Imaginary Nightclub, our state-of-the-art, trans-temporal, multi-dimensional Security Systems detected some strange transmissions emanating from an unknown source. As a result, the Nightclub has been closed for safety reasons until a threat assessment can be properly conducted.
These broadcasts contain vast quantities of encoded information, and right now, we have placed our very best minds upon decrypting these mysterious files...and then bringing them to you, our most valued clientele.
Earlier today, after working tirelessly around-the-clock, our team successfully unscrambled a short segment of these strange transmissions. This appears to be a historical recording of some ancient variety, but due to some unusual localized interference, the audio quickly becomes garbled. Here. Listen for yourselves: